Inspired by #100happydays, I've continued my campaign of happiness to provoke others to become one with their own. This adventure I launched to become happy again, meant I truly needed to be ... Be awake, be aware, be mindful, be positive. I needed to change something within myself if I wanted to develop a happy life. And so here I am, after 100 days of bliss and I'd like to share where it all began. (I'm quite the talker so I'll keep it brief)
In April 2013 I competed in my first figure competition and I had this skewed vision that if I had abs, nice shoulders and I compete then the happiness I was seeking would appear. Enlightening experience, met great people and I know more about myself now but, it definitely isn't for me. Once the big day was done, all the treats were eaten and the adrenaline had descended; I gained 27 pounds, fell into a deep burrow of depression and anxiety, hated my existence and created an unhealthy relationship with food. I ate to heal my sadness and anger, I ate because it was my comfort, I ate because I felt like I might never eat again. As this unhealthy behaviour took over, I suddenly realized that this had turned into a binge eating disorder. This was the root of all my underlining obstacles and it wasn't the only struggle I needed to remedy.
February of this year, I decided it was best to leave my job. My depression and anxiety became a severity and knew it was time. I was sick of feeling sick and sick of feeling poisoned. Coincidently, a friend of mine was going on vacation with her family, just as I was leaving my job. She had asked me to stay at her cottage like, beach home to house/dog sit for one month. I knew this alignment was happening for a reason, this was meant to be! Knowing that this was the best break for me mentally, I was quick to say yes. The beach healed my soul and my animal companion gave me strength to feel. I started feeling whole again.
During my stay, I came across the #100happydays project. What the heck, I had nothing to lose! But I did lose something; I lost my sadness and anger, I lost the need to compare, I lost jealousy, I lost the hate and pity for myself. Things were turning around!!! I made an effort everyday to find the positive moments, to see through all the bullshit, see the good in everything, sent out positive vibes for my inner intentions. Happiness wasn't a desire anymore, it was my reality. It was all very simple, stop seeking and just be ... http://kristacorcoran.blogspot.ca/
